Framing Steve Nicks

The older I get, the more I wonder EXACTLY when will I become my mother.  My mother is a wonderful and unique person.  She is a blast of energy crammed into a 4'9 package and she is possibly one of the only people I know, besides myself, whose thoughts connect in her head like shes playing a permanent game of connect the dots.

More importantly, if I become my mother....how will my husband ever understand me?  It has taken me 26 years to master the art of decoding.

   The most recent example of my mothers scattered conversations would be with in the past few days.  Mom called asking would I handle something for her.  This was the only reason for a call that would end up being a 10 minute eye opening story on our family's sanity. For my fathers birthday he had requested that his beloved 1970's Stevie Nicks poster be framed to decorate the walls of his man room.  My mother will proudly tell you that this same poster hung over my parents bed in the younger, free spirited years of their marriage.  After searching for days my mother not only found the poster, Stevie still displayed in all her white teddy wearing glory, but she also stumbled across her collection of black light reflected posters.  To find out my mother had black light posters is no surprise, to learn that she STILL has them makes me want to watch a few hours of "Hoarders" in case I should be watching for signs.
Anyways, my mother spent the next few minutes reliving her childhood and wondering why my Grandma even allowed her to hang her "lets get high" endorsing posters.  This tumbled into her admission that my grandmother once grew marijuana for my uncle.  It seems my precious and naive grandmother found a tiny potted plant dying in my uncles window.  Being the kind heart that she is, she nursed it back to health with water and fertilizer.  My parents were the first to notice the 2 foot green shrub proudly displayed in my uncles bedroom window for all the neighborhood to see.  When asked about it my grandmother was so proud to show off how she had brought it back to life, still not knowing what it was.  Mom quickly told her what it was and (Please note, at this point in the story my mom is laughing hysterically over what she thought was a great idea) had my grandfather take it out back and burn it. Not dig a hole and bury it, or throw it away, nope....go burn it.  I blame my mom for some of my grandfathers oddity's now.

Now this was only a third of the conversation.  Somehow my grandfathers quirky new nature transitioned to the fact he was in the woods hunting with my father and quickly jumped to the next point on her agenda which was to tell me how there had been someone knocking on her door that ran off the night before.  Her exact story....

mom: Someone knocked 3 times and then ran!
me: So it's odd that they ran off?
mom: Well yea!  I heard the door while I was on the walker and I jumped off to put pants on.....
me: Wait, what?
mom: I jumped off to put pants on and when I finally got to the door they were gone.
me: Wait...did you say you were on the walker with no pants?
mom: (confused) Yes. so?
me: Why were you not wearing pants?
mom: I had been wearing overalls and I got hot, so I took em off.
me: So you were walking, on the walker, naked
mom: No!  I was on the walker in my underwear watching t.v.  The lights were off anyways. But I gotta go now, loooooove you!

If this is whats going on inside the house, it's no wonder they ran off.